Krystal Square Off IV Finals - 10/28/2007

8 minute contest (IFOCE rank in parenthesis):

1 - Joey Jaws Chestnut(1) - 103 burgers (WR)
2 - Humble Bob Shoudt(7) - 95
3 - Pat Deep Dish Bertoletti(2) - 94
4 - Tim Eater X Janus(4) - 74
5 - Sonya the Black Widow Thomas(5) - 58
6 - Rich the Locust LeFevre(8) - 53
7 - Hall Hoover Hunt(9) - 52
8 - Chip Burger Simpson(6) - 49
9 - Erik the Red Denmark(12) - 45
9(t) - Crazy Legs Conti(11) - 45
11 - Juliet Lee(10) - 44
12 - Tim Gravy Brown(15) - 38
13 - Allen Shredder Goldstein(14) - 34


(picture taken from Sean Russell Flickr set. Thanks Sean)

The last major contest of 2007 was a mad dash sprint. Sometimes an 8 minute eating contest seems like it lasts forever. The Pigs' Feet contest at the New Jersey State fair was the longest 8 minutes of my life this year. But this years Square Off was nothing like that; there were some tough moments during the contest, there were some pauses, but for the most part I felt like the contest ended too soon.

That being said there was some amazing performances in that short period of time. All of the top three competitors put up staggering numbers. Joey and Pat's performances should not be taken for granted but were some what expected. Joey has made a reputation for himself now of being a clutch eater, rarely looking overwhelmed at any point during a big contest. Pat continues to inch closer to that elusive first major victory but I know he has reached a level in his career now where anything but first is a disappointment.

Humble Bob's 95 burgers however, were shockingly impressive. It has been a while since somebody came out of nowhere (not being one of the favorites) and contended for a major title like Bob did last Sunday - it was exciting and inspiring to see.



The ESPN broadcast was shortened this year to a half an hour, a good move in my opinion not to try and fill a whole hour with fluff. But still, as always what is missing from the ESPN broadcasts are thorough re-caps, interviews, and post contest results for more than the top eaters.

Another programming error was clearly visible in the misrepresentation of eater burger counts not only on TV but on stage as well. The broadcast mislabeled Eater X's totals as Crazy Legs (Conti) the entire contest. The bunnettes struggled mightily to keep up with the burger count but that was due largely in part because they were getting numbers from the judges in from of the stage who could not provide results fast enough.

Here is my suggestion, because I think it is extremely important for the entertainment value of a contest to represent accurate and timely totals of the eaters (that is where the interest and drama builds!!!) - Digital Counters that adjust with a push of the button. COME ON, HOW HARD WOULD IT BE? We can still have bunnettes holding the digital counters but the judge in front presses the button every time a burger or hot dog is eaten. Ok moving on.

Regardless of what was shown on the ESPN broadcast, I think everyone who was on the waterfront to watch the spectacle was thoroughly entertained and awed by not only the performances of the eaters, but the presentation of the contest.

George Shea (MC) seems to have a new found infatuation with Gwen Stefani. I think George feels a connection and affinity to Stefani's bizarre and experimental sounds, lyrics, style, and presentation (me too quite frankly). After shocking and pumping up the crowd with his out-of-vocal-range-screeching of "whoo-hoo, yee-hoo" to Stefani's Sweet Escape, George conducted the entire Krystal crowd in banging their thunder sticks together in harmony with Stefani's Hollaback Girl. I was laughing my ass off backstage and caught a little video of it:



The Krystal stage was amazing - we were brought to the stage from above the contest platform down ramps which shot fireworks as we entered. The backdrop of the Tennessee River provided a refreshing natural ambiance as well as a cool breeze coming off the water.

After the contest ended and Joey was interviewed by ESPN the broadcast ended. But once the cameras were off, there was a formal presentation of the top three finishers, their trophies and then about 500 cubic feet (just a guess) of confetti was shot sky high from cannons on the stage and came streaming down like snowflakes on top of the eaters and the crowd. It felt like I was on the court after the NBA finals, lost in the snowflake-confetti-jubilation. Of course, my perspective would be from the losers point of view but still a good rule of thumb is that if you are getting confetti dropped on your head, at the very least you had a shot at winning it all and that is more than most can say.

I was able to down 45 Krystals for a personal best. I really wanted to get to the 50 barrier and I know that I had the room considering my last swallows were not painful at all but I just could not get the pace I need in the middle of the contest. I am not disappointed in the results because after only putting up 23 HDB's at the finals for Nathan's, 3.5 fewer than my personal best, I needed to prove to myself that I could perform at my best in the biggest contests.

Sadly, I think the rest of 2007 season will be very slow now with possibly no more contests scheduled until 2008. I hope some contests will pop up and I will have a chance to attend. Spike TV.com has announced that the second part of the Chowdown series, the "Battle of the Bird" will air on Thanksgiving day which hopefully means many people will be able to catch the show that maybe missed the first one. Stay tuned to the TV after all of America does some stomach stretching exercises at the table.

Some side notes from the Krystal contest:
* Tim Brown and Chip Simpson were dressed in Halloween costumes for the contest. Tim was dressed as Hannibal Lector complete with a face mask and chain shackles. Tim asked Kate Westfall if one of Juliet Lee's daughters could lead him on stage with the shackles. Unfortunately Kate said no. Chip was dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle definitely breaking out of his shell.
* The first three eaters that came on stage: Juliet Lee, Allen Goldstein and Tim Brown were announced on stage before the ESPN broadcast began - I don't know why, that was lame.
* Liz Kellermeyer is now a professional Bunnette and she proved she has the talent. Counting for 3rd place finisher Pat Bertoletti, the rumors from the crowd were that she was the most accurate and focused counter.
*We signed autographs for nearly an hour straight for fans that were waiting in line before the contest.
*Many eaters were not ready for the rapid start to the contest. Rich LeFevre commented that when George Shea started the countdown from 10 for the contest, he thought it was a joke; he turned to Crazy Legs as George was at 2 and asked "is this for real?"
*Crazy Legs' pink shorts were entirely too short.