Krystal Square Off III Qualifier in Nashville 9/10/06

Complete Results (IFOCE rank in paranthesis)

1st - Humble Bob Shoudt(5) - 52
2nd - Erik the Red Denmark(12) - 34
3rd - Juris Shibayama(NR) - 33
4th- Jim "Hammer" Hamrick(27) - 22
5th- Kevin "The Carborator" Carr(31) - 21
6th-Lynn Curley(NR) - 20
6th-Adam Dickens(NR) - 20
8th-Chris Wooten(NR) - 17
9th-Matthew Bailey(NR) - 16
10th-Andrew Wong(NR) - 15
10th-Justin Smith(NR) - 15
10th-Mitchell Miller(NR) - 15
13th-Brandon Williams(NR) - 14

2.5 inch buns, thin meat patties, chopped onions, and mustard. That is the simple makeup of a competition Krystal burger (the store bought version contains a pickle). They come on trays of 20 in their own individual branded box. Everyone gets as many 44 oz. branded plastic cups as they need for the competition. A Krystal must be consumed in full, no fractions of Krystals will be counted towards an eaters total. Dunking is allowed as well as separating or squashing or whatever else you could come up with to the eat the burger as long as all of it is consumed. The contest is a sprint, eight minutes, a full four minutes shorter than the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition.

My opinion - the Krystal Square Off kicks some ass. Nathan's should send some reps out to a contest and check out how it is done - simple, efficient, and standardized. Also, when the finals are complete in Chattanooga, TN on October 28th, Krystal will be paying every eater who qualifies a share of the $30,000 purse - take note Nathan's.

Anyway, about the contest - I had been looking forward to this test for awhile, especially since most of the contests I have been in since Nathan's have been either debris food (ribs, chicken wings), or unusaul ones like jalapenos or the "buffet bowl" which have not been strictly about speed, capacity and technique. That being said, I was fairly pleased with my result of 34. Of course, my goal for the contest was at least 37, which would have all but guaranteed me a spot in the finals with Crazy Legs (36 burgers) and Seaver Miller (35 burgers) holding the top two wild card spots.

I knew it would be tough to beat Humble Bob on Sunday with his Krystal experience from last year and Krystals being one of his favorite competition foods. But honestly, I don't think Humble Bob had one of his best days and he surely fell below his expectations going in to the weekend. But a win is a win and 52 is nothing to be ashamed of especially since that really means nothing in terms how the finals will play out. At least Bob knows he will more than likely be standing (or sitting) next to Joey at the finals assuming that they seat everyone according to their qualifying number not their rank.

This 8 minute contest was the shortest real contest I have ever been in (I don't count the Buffet Bowl). As with most contests, the biggest damage is done within the first 2 minutes so if anyone expects to do well, they better be sprinting out of the gate. I had hoped to get at least 18 down in the first two minutes and than incrementally work my way up to 40. After a good first minute (10 burgers), I slowed too much and I think I was at around 15 in two minutes. I knew I was behind where I wanted to be so I tried to speed up and just dunk without drinking water to reach my next goal marker of 25 in four minutes. I couldn't do it, I was having trouble swallowing and I slowed down to a near crawl, I managed only five burgers over the next two minutes, which left me way behind my pace. Finally, I tore off my cowboy hat and bandana to free up my brain and I picked up some water and managed to settle in to a decent second half rhythym.

As time was winding down I knew every Krystal I could shove in would be critical in terms of a wild card berth, not to mention that according to the numbers Emcee Ryan Nerz was spouting out, I was still one burger behind Juris Shibayama, an impressive rookie on a torid pace. I shoved two burgers in the last six seconds which left my mouth no room for oxygen. I am normally positive that whatever will fit in my mouth at the end of a contest I will eventually be able to swallow. But this time I had managed to get a whole burger patty wedged between my uvula and the back of my throat which was really causing me to gag every time I tried to chew what was in front of it. After some consternation I decided to take a chance and just swallow without chewing. This really could have been bad but fortunately I didn't choke and nothing came back up.

Juris Shibayama finsihed in third with 33 and he has a pretty interesting story. He is a spine surgen who lives in Nashville and though admitting to being a fan of competitive eating said that he really had not trained for the contests (he won the two minute qualifier the day before with 14). He has a strong, athletic build and definitely seems as though he would have the intelligence to work his body in to competitive eating shape. Though, he did mention that he won't be able to travel much because his job requires him to be on call a lot on the weekends. We'll see, I think he would fit in well with the rest of the nut jobs (myslef included) on the circuit.

Do I think 34 will hold up for one of the four wild card spots? Despite hope being a powerful ally of mine, I think it is likely I will be in Jackson for the last qualifier.

(I hope to get some pictures from the contest soon from Krystal Brad)